


Kurt is sick

by ClaraCivry (Kat_Of_Dresden)



Category: X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Beating, Blood, Claustrophobia, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fainting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Injury, Injury Recovery, Major Character Injury, Nightmares, Self-Harm, Stomach Ache, X-Men Apocalypse Spoilers, et al - Freeform, in general, physical assault
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-11 06:46:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 19,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7034200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kat_Of_Dresden/pseuds/ClaraCivry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of oneshots in which Kurt is sick, injured or sad and his friends comfort him and remind him of how important he is. Just because.</p><p>1. Nightmares/ 2. Beaten up / 3. Faint (Drained) / 4.Stomach flu /5. Claustrophobia /6. Impaled<br/>7. Anemia (the scrawny kid)/ 8. Taken / 9. Heatstroke /10. Poisoned / 11. Scars (the angel marks)/12. Drowned     <br/>13. Migraines/ 14. Fire /  15. Ice (frozen)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nightmare disorder

Kurt was late – and Kurt was never late for class. The fact that he didn't have to walk to class and could simply teleport there meant that he was generally there before anyone else, also giddy and smiley ready to begin the new class, with that big grin of his, energetic, just Kurt being Kurt.

But that day his seat was empty as they all arrived and no one knew anything about him. No one had seen him at breakfast, either, in fact no one had seen him the whole morning. So where was he, why was he missing? It wasn't like him to miss breakfast and a class for no reason. And Jean and Scott had been with him the previous night, and he hadn't mentioned anything about wanting to skip class or anything. Odd.

The teacher came in and there was no sign of the german, so Scott looked at Jean and at the empty seat, but she just shrugged. She had no idea of where could he be. He emerged a good half an hour later, appearing in his seat, hair all wrong, clothes all messed up. So he had overslept – no biggie then. Nothing out of the ordinary, it happened to the best of them. Even the incredible Nigthcrawler could sleep through his alarm once or twice. Only it wasn't a one time thing, it was the beginning. The beginning of the end of the happy-go-lucky Kurt they knew and loved who was substituted by a pale shadow of who he used to be.

Jean and Scott didn't take long to notice the little (and the bigger) changes in their friend. He talked less and seemed sadder for some reason. He mistook words and dates, he dropped things, sometimes he had trouble keeping awake during class. He had little accidents during the day, ran into people, hurt himself with everything. Storm once found him on the garden, looking at the stars at 3am, hands on his face. Something was troubling him, but he kept pretending it was okay to avoid worrying anyone. No need to burden them too.

But of course his friends were worried, if there was something bothering him enough to keep him up at night then they wanted to know, to be able to help. Scott and Jean were talking about this issue when they found him in a window, with tear tracks on his cheeks. And this was not first time in the last weeks they saw something similar. Kurt saw them and immediately disappeared. This only made Jean and Scott worry even more, and they decided they couldn't put off talking to him about it.

When they did find him, he was sitting on the floor in the garden, his face was clean and he smiled at them – but it didn't reach his eyes.

Scott and Jean sat on either side of him, determined to get to the bottom of this.

“Kurt, talk to us. What is going on? What had you so worried?” Jean started.

“Why, nothing...”

“Stop it. We've seen you crying just now and we know that you've been having trouble sleeping.”

His big eyes watered, but Kurt tried to keep the tears at bay.

“It's okay if you don't want to talk about it now, but you know, we're here for you. We won't judge, we just want to help you with whatever, they way you always help us with everything.” Scott said.

A couple of tears fell on his blue cheeks, and he looked down.

“Why can't you sleep, Kurt?” Jean asked. “Does it have to do with the battle with Apocalypse?” She still dreamed about it sometimes, about the metal flying through the air, all the wreckage and all the anger – and how they almost lost so many people.

“I had a dream and now....I see him. I see him when I dream.” Kurt confessed. “The boy with the wings. I couldn't save him.”

“Who, Apocalypse's follower?” Scott asked.

Jean thought she understood – that boy had died in the plane that crashed, the plane from which he had taken them all out.

“Kurt, you can't possibly blame yourself for that! You nearly died getting us all back to safety, it was impossible for you to take anyone else!”

“It's not just that. I met him before... in Berlin. They had sold me to some mutant fighting arena where we had to fight to death. I hurt him.... hurt his wings. What if that was the reason why he turned to Apocalypse like Magneto turned because of what happened to his family?”

Boy, was he carrying carrying all sorts of guilt that didn't even belong to him. Jean tried to put into words how none of that had been his fault, wanted him to believe it.

“Kurt, that boy chose to go with Apocalypse, no matter the reason. It was his choice and what happened to him was only a consequence of that. You cannot blame yourself for the decisions of other people.”

“Yeah, that was his choice.” Scott backed up. “Unlike you, who didn't choose to be sold into that place. And you were just fighting for your life when you hurt him, which is perfectly ok. You can't save who doesn't want to be saved, buddy. And talking about saving, you saved Charles from that Apocalypse mind thingie, you saved us from that plane... You made all the right choices and you should be proud of yourself.”

Kurt was still crying, but managed a small smile.

“Nothing of what happened was your fault, Kurt. You deserve to sleep peacefully.”

They stayed there, in the garden for a while, not saying anything at first, then chatting about unimportant things, like classes and classmates and teachers and such. It was nice. Companionable.

That night, when Kurt got to his room, his friends were already there, in their pyjamas.

“What?”

“We're sleeping here tonight.” Jean said.

“To chase the nightmares away!” Scott added.

“You don't have to...”

“We want to. You'll see that you sleep much better.”

And so Kurt jumped into the bed, one friend on each side, covered in sheets and blankets and they cuddled in that small bed. Sleep didn't come at first, but he didn't mind so much. He did eventually fall asleep again. And for the first time in a long time, there were no nightmares that night. Just sleepy smiles.

 


	2. The beating

They had gone to the cinema and after the cinema they split up to go to the toilets, Jubilee and Jean going to the ladies and Kurt going to the boy's one while Scott waited in the lobby with purses and the like. People were giving him weird looks (what's that boy doing with sunglasses inside a cinema?) so he really wanted everyone to be back so they could get out of there. Although he knew how bad it had been for Alex, this “mutant hatred” thing was kinda new on him, and he hated it. He wondered how Kurt do it every day (and had been doing it every day of his life) and still be so cheerful.

Jubilee and Jean were a while in the toilet, because there had been a long line after the movie, and even after they came back, they still had to wait for Kurt. They talked about the movie for a while, but then became impatient and sent Scott to see why the german was taking so long. But he called his name and waited until all the stalls were free and he wasn't there. Which was strange, they said they would meet up again in the lobby, why could he have gone off? Scott met up with the girls again and told me that Kurt wasn't there. Jean tried to find his thoughts but couldn't.

“Why would he leave without telling us anything? It's not like him.” Jubilee said. There was something wrong about this, Kurt wouldn't just leave them hanging like that. They looked for him on the streets nearby but didin't find him.

“Yeah, well, he really could be anywhere. Maybe he's poofed back to germany.” Scott said, feeling useless.

“Wihtout saying anything? He would have warned us.”

“What if someone's taken him?” Jubilee asked, getting more and more concerned. The thought of anyone hurting sweet Kurt... no. There had to be another explanation.

“Let's go back to the school. Maybe's he's just gone, forgot to tell us. If he's not there we can tell the professor ti find him with Cerebro.”

It was a good idea, but they were all kind of uneasy. Jubilee kept looking at the phone booths wanting to get out and call the house to see if he was there and heard a happy “yes! He just got here!” and be finally at ease but they didn't. The answer wouldn't have calmed her down anyways, as Kurt wasn't there.

Getting more and more worried now, they asked the professor to track him down, and Charles located him in an alley downtown. After getting out of Cerebro with a worried expression in his face, Charles delivered the dreaded news.

“He's hurt. I'll ask Peter to bring him back, he's the one who can bring him back the quickest.”

The kids looked at each other, worried. Was he so badly hurt that he couldn't use his power to get back? In the wink of an eye Peter was there with them, in his customary jeans and music band tee, and his sudden appearance startled all the others.

“You called for me?”

The professor gave Peter a little note with an address.

“Nightcrawler has been attacked. He's at that address, I need you to pick him up and bring him back to the infirmary. Can you do that?”

“Sure.” Peter said, looking at the address.

“And Peter?”

“Yes?”

“Hurry.”

Peter put on his glasses and left, no one able to see him. The boys started going to the infirmary, to be there when they were back, anxious.

* * *

 

“I should have gone with him.” Scott said, looking down.

“None of us knew something like this would happen.” Jean countered, although she too felt like they should have done something more to protect their friend.

“But why didn't he disappear when they came for him, used his power?” Jubilee asked, hearing the professor's words in her head, over and over, “Nightcrawler has been attacked”, “he's hurt”, “Nightcrawler has been attacked”.......

“Hey, guys, what with the long faces?” Storm asked, looking at the sullen group.

“We went to watch a movie and lost Kurt. Turns out someone attacked him and he's hurt. The professor sent Peter for him, we're going to infirmary to wait for when they arrive.”

“Kurt? Isn't he the german boy who is usually with you?”

They nodded. Storm clenched her fists. She liked that boy, he was foreigner like her, and he was kind but strong. A boy who was what you would least expect in a warrior, so gentle and sensitive, but a warrior nevertheless.

“I'll go with you guys.”

It took a bit longer than expected, but after some minutes Peter came back, carefully cradling in his arms a blue figure in his arms. Softly, almost slowly (which was a novelty for him) he put the unconscious teleporter in a bed.

“I tried to be as careful as possible, tried to wake him up, but couldn't. The club on the side of the head, he has a big injury there. Also I think one of his arms is broken, and his breathing a bit funny so you should check if they cracked any of his ribs and got a lung or something. He's got a split lip and the left eye is going to bruise, too. And... and his stomach is pretty bad too, I think they kicked him before doing... that.”

Someone had carved the word DEMON with a knife in stomach, just on top of the navel.

A couple of tears went down Jubilee's cheeks who didn't want to look anymore, and hid her face in Jean's shoulders. Jean kept looking on – she understood now why Kurt hadn't been able to escape now, they hit him first in the head and knocked him out to avoid having to face his abilities. And then they punched him and kicked him and cut him while he was on the floor, defenseless. It broke her heart. And the darker side of Jean wanted to retaliate oh-so-badly...

“I can help” Ororo said, after the initial shock. There was just Hank and a volunteer nurse, they probably could use the help. “I've helped when other children of my village where injured, I know how it goes.”

“Are you sure? It won't be pleasant.”

Ororo just nodded.

“Ok, the rest of you should probably leave, we'll probably be here a while, go for a walk, eat something. We'll let you visit when we finish working.”

And so they got out, angry and sad, the image of Kurt's injured body in their heads, unerasable. His attackers had taken his shoes and his shirt from him, so if anyone found they could read the word they wrote in blood in his flat little belly.

“Thank you” Jean told Peter when they were out. “for bringing him back to us.”

“Yeah, well, he would have done the same for me. I just wish I had known earlier, so I could work a little of my magic on those bullies before they did that to him.”

“Yeah, we all wish we'd known sooner.” Scott lamented, kicking himself. He'd been there, with him, and known nothing.

Jubilee was drying her tears and trying to order her thoughts.

“It's so unfair. Kurt's sweet and fun and helpful – they people who hurt him are the real demons.”

“Amen to that, sister.” Peter added. “I'll be back in a while, to see how he's doing, all right?”

“Sure.”

Peter nodded and disappeared with a heavy heart. He wouldn't forget finding the kid on that alley... there had been so much blood, and he'd been so still. He'd been so scared of hurting him further while he brought him back... It was so messed up, so messed up.

Scott, Jean and Jubilee had settled in a couch near the entrance of the infirmary, unable to get far before knowing anything. Scott bought some sodas on a mchine, getting really angry with it for no reason. Jean paced in the hallway, trying to reconstruct the scene, while Jubilee tried to distract herself, not think too much about Kurt's bruised bleeding face and how limp he'd been in that white bed.

A few hours later the professor joined them, knowing that they would finally be allowed back in.

Kurt looked better, but still quite damaged. His left arm had been plastered and put in a sling, his stomach had been bandaged and there were stitches in the blow in his head.

“How is he?” Scott asked.

And so Hank started his very long assessment of the situation.

“Not bad, considering the beating he's received. The arm should heal in about six weeks, and we'll take the stitches in like a week or so. We used a special serum on his abdomen so hopefully it won't leave any marks and will heal in four or five days, maybe a week. He has a mild concussion from the blow too, the ribs were okay but there is really something wrong with the breathing, and I don't know what...We did a scan of the chest and didn't find anything – it – it would be really good to have a clinical history, but I really doubt they had one at the circus where he lived, the poor kid... Well, to cut it short, we've fixed the biggest injuries and he recover without problem but I we need to monitor his breathing and the concussion, but.. well, with rest and some meds, I think he'll be fine.”

Mystique rushed in there after a couple of minutes.

“Charles, why did you....” She stopped in her tracks seeing Kurt. “What... who did that?”

“We don't know, Raven, some humans from a cinema.”

“You could know if you wanted to. Force them to speak up about what they'd done, put themselves into jail. We cannot let them do this to us, Charles.” _Make it about all of them and don't focus on the kid, Mystique. On how broken he looks, don't lok, don't look._

“I know... why you feel like this, but we can't become as bad as them. Let me handle it.”

“Charles....” She interrupted. They couldn't be soft with this. They had gone too far.

“Tomorrow I'm speaking on tv – you'll see I will make this right. Give me three days, I assure you this will be solved.”

"It better."

Mystique left, but the rest of them stayed, surrounding Kurt's bed.

The next day Charles went on television and spoke was asked to speak about someone remarkable from the school. He spoke about Kurt, told his story, described his charming personality and how heroic he'd been in the battle against Apocalypse, about what a light in the darkness he was. Shy, gentle, good in spite a world that seemed to hate him.

And then he spoke about how he'd been mercilessly beaten up and left in an alley and asked for people who knew who could be the culprit to speak, giving the name of the cinema and movie, the time, the area where he'd been found and some other details. Asked for people who'd found blood stains on their kids clothing, who had heard a story of someone in his class teaching a mutant freak a lesson.

“I know it will be hard for you, but these people beat up a young orphan who's only crime was to look different. Every night before he sleeps, he prays for the safety of all of us, so will be protected. He's kind, despite all the horrors life has thrown at him, he is selfless and always helps anyone. He may not have known his blood family, but he is our boy, and he is suffering. Please help us and call if you have any leads.”

There was an outrage on the media and on the streets like there hadn't been in a long time. The girlfriend of one of the attackers spoke first, and then the sister of another one. While there were those who defended the kids, they were a minority. Like predicted, in three days all those involved had been processed with aggravated assault, and there was a shift in the opinion. Suddenly not all mutants were bad and not all humans were good. They had gone against someone too nice, and the fact that they had beaten the boy up while he was unconscious made it almost impossible to defend their position.

* * *

 

Back in the X-mansion Kurt, Storm and Jean and Scott were playing cards in the med bay. It was difficult because Kurt only had one good hand and one good eye (the other had swollen too much) but Scott was helping him. His breathing hadn't still gone back to normal, but it was getting there. When Storm helped him picked up some cards, Kurt smiled at her. It was a eerie with the swollen eye and the split lip, but very him.

“How could you smile so much after what they did to you?” She asked.

“It could be worse.” Kurt said. “I have friends with me, a comfortable bed and...” he motioned with his good hands for them to get closer and whispered... “we didn't have pain medication in the circus... it's wunderbar!”

 


	3. Faint (drained)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> requested by pikaace :)

Jean enjoyed being on Charles' school very much, had a group of close friends, people who understood and trusted her... It was a good feeling, and despite what the rest of society might think of them, how scared or disgusted they were, she still had people who stood by her. A support system.

So lately, when she became anxious or scared, she didn't imagine humans coming against her or laws being passed against the “mutant freaks” that they were, but imagined losing the members of his team, in elaborate but realistic scenarios. She saw the professor being overwhelmed by other people's thoughts, she saw Storm being zapped by one of her own lightning bolts, she saw Scott bringing a wall down on himself after losing his glasses. And the more worried she was, the more realistic were the fantasies and the more she felt the loss, the grief of losing a dear friend.

That Tuesday the dream felt absolutely real. They were trying to rescue a mutant that had been experimented on, and after breaking the girl out of the cell she'd been in, they found themselves surrounded, agents with specific anti-mutant weapons all around them, so of course they needed to get out – and without much thought, without thinking about how many people they were or how difficult it could be, she ordered Kurt to get them out of there, and he complied, like he always did.

But when they landed on the safe house outside of the facility, she couldn't feel him anymore, hear his thoughts. His presence wasn't there, but he had to be there, he was the one bringing them here, right? And then she heard Scott shaking voice, calling their friend's name, softly, scared.

“Kurt?”

And Hank was shaking his blue head, sorrow in his mind.

“He's gone. It was too much for him.”

She had killed one of her best friends.

Jean screamed so loud, it woke her and the girl in the next room up.

* * *

 

It had been so real, it had been so true. The next day she'd spent the whole morning and afternoon checking on Kurt, making sure he was okay. It had just been a dream, she told herself, just her consciousness being afraid of losing someone she cared about. Not all your dreams are prophetic, Jean, not all your dreams have to come true.

She talked about it with Scott, to unburden herself a little and maybe find some comfort, someone telling her that she overthinking it, that Kurt would be okay. But that wasn't Scott's answer.

“It worries me too.” He admitted. “He'd probably do it even if he knew it was too much, and that he wouldn't wake up again, you know, because he's so selfless and a good christian... I guess it would be the right thing to do, but, I really can't have him comatose forever or worse. He's one of my best friends.”

Their fears seemed to come true in a mission they were in, when they were trapped with no way out.

There was a cry of “Nightcrawler!” and Kurt started grabbing people.

Jean panicked.

“There's too many of us.”

“I can do it.” Kurt said, even if he knew it was going to be difficult: they were eight people, the most he'd ever done.

“There has to be another way.” Scott said. “We'll drain him.”

“There isn't, I can manage.”

It took him a bit longer than usual, but they did get them out of there and back next to the mansion. As soon as they materialised, Jean and Scott frantically looked for their friend.

“Kurt!”

Scott took his Kurt as his friend started to fall, eyes closing.

“No, no, no, no”

“Keep him awake!” Jean yelled, fearing her dream was coming true.

“Kurt, buddy, don't close your eyes, okay, look at me, look at us.”

Jean got there in no time, and softly slapped his face.

“Talk to us, don't go to sleep, please.”

But they could see him losing the battle, slowly but surely.

“Too... tired.”

Jubilee didn't understand what was happening, she had never seen him like this.

“What is happening? Is he sick?”

Even on the verge of unconsciousness, Kurt tried to calm them down.

“Don't worry.... I will... I... fine...”

The rest of them surrounded them, making sure that Kurt was still with them, awake, if only barely. Maybe it wasn't the right thing to do, maybe they really should let him rest – but seeing him unconscious like he'd been last time, it was really unsettling. What if didn't wake up for days again? What if at some point his body decided it had been too much and gave up? Or what if he started passing out during regular life and hurt himself badly?

Jean kept trying to maintain Kurt's attention so they wouldn't lose him. Talking, moving, anything. Kurt managed to smile at her which did make her and the others feel much better.

“I'll take care of him, don't worry.” Hank said, and took the younger mutant in his arms, bridal style.

So they left him in his expert care while they rested in one of the beds next to his, and tended ot their own scratches while calming down.

“What happened to Kurt? And how did you guys know?” Jubilee asked, concerned.

“It's teleporting with too many people , it leaves without energy. It happened in Cairo too, he was out for the whole final battle. That's why we didn't want to do it.” Scott explained.

“One of these days it will be too much for him and we'll lose him for good:” Jean mentioned, remembering her dream. She had felt the loss as if it had been really true, they had really lost him. And it had been them pushing him too hard, it had been them taking him for granted.

“We need to find alternatives to his teleporting or other people with similar abilities, specially when we're in a big group. We could really hurt him otherwise.”

* * *

 

The next day, when they went to see him again, Kurt looked kind of confused as to why they'd been so worried the previous day., and wondered if he'd done something wrong.

“You idiot, it is us who were wrong for exhausting you like that.”

“Your well being is more important than any mission, Kurt. We need you to be okay, at least I do.” Scott said.

“Me too.” Jubilee.

“All of us, and don't you ever doubt it.” Ororo added, smiling fondly.

“... Danke.”

And so they started thinking of alternatives and new ways to get out, hoping it would be a long while until their blue friend was ill again.

 


	4. The stomach flu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by anonymous on tumblr :)

Kurt was pretty sure he was dying.

Maybe he shouldn't tried all those foods, maybe he shouldn't have been so adventurous, he used to eat the same three or four things over and over in the circus and maybe his body couldn't handle all this varied american food, maybe it had been too much of a shock for him and now he was paying the price. And he'd read novels, he knew about the incredible amount of diseases that originated in America, and had read about hemorrhagic fevers and poisonous foods.

He felt tired and achy and warm, and his stomach hurt more and more each minute. But it was the middle of the night, and he didn't want to bother anyone with his stupid concerns. Maybe this wasn't so bad, maybe this was something normal here. There were so many things he didn't know or understand about the american way of life, so many little nuances that were different.... He had known that his life had been strange, sheltered, but hadn't known how much until he got there.

So, not wanting to bother anyone, Kurt tried to sleep – but sleep eluded him. He felt queasy and unsettled, he felt the whole world was moving at a different speed than him. And as time went by, it only got worse, he felt decomposed, light headed. He went to bathroom to freshen up, throw some water in his face but the movement made him even more nauseous and he ended up vomiting on the small toilet of his bedroom. And then again, and again. He tried to drink some water to compensate, but he threw up that too.

His stomach was really hurting now, he had cramps and the slight upset from before was gone. Oh, how he wished it had stayed like that. Now he had chills, and his muscles ached and he felt he couldn't make a single movement without upsetting his stomach again and being facing the toilet bowl another time. He kind of wished he would have had a more glamorous death, maybe something in battle, instead of slowly losing his life force through his mouth. He felt so horrible and he was developing a headache too. Just his luck.

Maybe he really should call somebody, maybe something was really wrong. But then a terrible idea came to him. What if this was a horrible fatal disease... that was contagious? He knew that there were a lot of illnesses that spread through contact, sometimes even just being in the same room as someone affected and he couldn't take that risk. He couldn't go to the others knowing that he could expose, get them sick. He would have to weather this storm on his own, just like he had always done, and hope for the best. The X-Men were too important, he couldn't put them at risk.

So he just stayed there on the toilet (to prevent any more unpleasant trips) put his head on the cool tiles of the room and tried to let the time pass as he sang to himself the only lullaby he had ever known. It was probably not the best end, but he had a decent life and he was thankful for all the good moments.

He just wished he didn't feel so bad. He just wished he didn't have to lose everything now that he had finally found a place where he belonged.

 

* * *

 

Ororo was having lunch with the usual people (Jean, Scott and Jubilee) when he noticed someone was missing. A certain cheerful presence of the blue and german variety.

“Hey, where's Kurt?”

“I haven't seen him all day.” Scott answered. “He looked pretty beat yesterday, so I figured that he may have slept in the first hours, but it's weird that he hasn't come to have some lunch, he's usually the first here.”

“Maybe we could take some food and go to his room with the excuse of giving to him.” Jubilee suggested. “I've never been there.”

It seemed like a good plan, and after finishing their own, they picked up some food for Kurt. But when they got to his room, they couldn't see him.

“I think he's on the toilet, but something's off. His thoughts are... weird, jumbled. Kurt?” Jean called in the direction of the toilet. “Is everything ok?”

The only answer they got was a mild whimper.

Scott, could you open the door and go in? I don't want want him to feel awkward or anything but I feel something's wrong.”

Scott nodded, went, knocking on the door first and saying an “I'm coming in” as warning.

Kurt was there, but he looked awful. He was hunched over himself in the corner of the bathroom, eyes bright and bloodshot. And the bathroom... the bathroom was a mess, and gave Scott a clear idea of what had happened.

“Don't... come, Scott. I will.... I will infect you.”

Scott just smiled at that. So like Kurt to reject help to avoid hurting others.

“Dude, I had stomach flus practically every year when I was a child, I'm pretty sure I'm immune by now.”

He got closer, despite Kurt's obvious fear and reticence, and put a hand on his friend's forehead. It was warm, too warm.

“You're quite feverish. We should get you back to bed.”

Kurt looked panicked.

“But...the others?”

“It's not that contagious, Kurt, and even if it was it usually lasts like one day, I think those girls can handle it.”

“So... I am not going to die?”

“Why would you think that? You had never been sick like this before? It's really common and generally mild, don't worry. We're gonna take care of you and you'll be just fine, come one, let me help you up.”

They got out, Kurt heavily leaning on his friend and feeling flushed, not just from the fever but for having blown everything so out of proportion.

“Oh, he looks awful. Are you sick?” Jubilee asked.

“He's got stomach flu. He thought he was dying but didn't call anyone in case he infected us with his deadly disease. Probably spent all night agonizing there alone thinking he was done for.”

“Aww, Kurt, honey! I am gonna cancel all my plans so I can spend the whole weekend fussing over you.” Jubilee said, helping Scott transport the sick boy to his bed.

“You could have said something, Kurt.” Jean said. “Just think about me panicked next time,ok? _Jean I think I'm dying, please help_ and I'll be there. You don't have to go through any bad things alone anymore, ok?”

“I didn't want to hurt you.” He said, in a small voice.

“You know” Ororo interjected. “If I didn't actually know him I wouldn't believe someone this nice existed. I think I'm gonna stay to see if he pukes rainbows.”

“I really don't.”

They spent the weekend mostly there, in Kurt's little room, with a bucket next to the bed, some calming chamomile tea and some really bad old movies on the TV.

And Kurt was suddenly, really really glad that he wasn't dying.

 


	5. Claustrophobia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> requested by pikaace, again ;)

Jean, Scott and Kurt had been thrown always into some sort of metal wardrobe, and they couldn't get out. Jean could read the boys' minds but nobody from outside. Kurt could only teleport inside the tiny metal cell were they were. No windows, no handles, nothing. Seemingly no weak points.

“So, what are we supposed to do? Just wait for the others and hope they start checking random wardrobes and find us? This thing is camouflaged!” Scott said, angry.

“Yes, well, we have to have hope, right? I'm trying to contact the professor but I think that magnetic field or whatever it is, is preventing me from doing anything.” Jean answered.

“Kurt, any brilliant ideas?” Scott asked their blue friend but he didn't reply. In fact, looking at him he gave the impression of not even being there with them, or being there only physically, not mentally.

“Kurt?”

He was muttering something very soft, so soft that they could hardly hear him.

“Bitte, nein....”

His hands were shaking and his eyes were unfocused, something was going on, something bad. He was breathing in quick, short pants, as if he were running out of air.

“Kurt? You all right?”

But Scott's question was met with only more loud, panicked breathing.

“Jean, can you look and see what's happening to him?”

Jean looked in his mind and didn't like what she saw.

“He's having some sort of flashback, someone locked him up in some kind of electrified metal box, even smaller than this...”

 

_He was in that metal box again, drugged, sedated. He tried to get out but every time he got out he got shocked. They had put some sort of electric fence surrounding it, so he couldn't move, he couldn't get out. He was trapped in there, he was trapped in there maybe forever, maybe this was their way of getting rid of him, of disposing of him, like the folks at the circus had done._

_They had sold him away, the circus, the only people he'd ever known, he'd ever trusted, and they had sold him for money. The last owner didn't like him – had never liked him, he said that a teleporting demon was not family appropriate entertainment. So Kurt had learned new tricks, acrobatics, so so many new and spectacular moves, but nothing had worked. The man looked at him with disgust (as did many others) despite all of Kurt's efforts to get in his good graces._

_And so he had sold him, drugged him and threw him in an electrified box, with no way out, being sent away from anyone he knew, being abandoned, abandoned again, like his parents had abandoned him, like everyone he knew kept abandoning him. And now he was there again, because of course they wanted to get rid of him and of course something so good couldn't last. The X-Men had ditched him and put him in a box again, and who knew where he would end up this time. Maybe he would never get out this box, maybe....._

_He was dizzy and the box kept getting smaller and smaller. His tail banged on the metal and soon he'd have no room and he felt he could hardly move (oh god, please don't, not anymore), he couldn't breathe, he couldn't breathe, he was going to die alone, trapped in that cage, I can't, I can'ttt -_

 

“Kurt.”

There was a voice in his head, and suddenly he registered someone putting their hands on his face, on his cheeks, looking at him.

“Kurt, you have to breathe, all right? You hear me?”

It was Jean's voice, on his head, clearer, asking him to breathe, over and over, over and over. But could she be there? She couldn't be there, she had left him. But her features were getting clear after being blurry. It was also Jean's hands and her face in front of him.

“Calm down, breathe. We are not abandoning you, nobody's abandoning you.” She said aloud, trying to get him back to the real world. “You're not alone and you're not gonna die here. Just breathe okay, breathe with me.”

It took a while for Kurt to realize that Jean was really in there, that he wasn't alone. And then, when he was still trying to fight those images of walls closing in on him an breathe properly like his friend was instructing, the door was opened and there was light and a big room and he could use his ability and he could properly breathe even if he was still panting. He disappeared while the remainder of the panic attack ebbed away, trying to get those images out of his head without troubling anyone.

“Jean what happened? What was that about not abandoning him?” Scott asked, worried.

“I... in the circus where he was before, they sold him, put him in a box. He thought it was happening again, that we had put him a box too.” Jean said. It had been horrible in his head, the distress, the sadness, the anxiety, the disappointment, the absolute certainty of having been abandoned and left to die in that metal box. It broke her heart that they would do something so horrible to sweet Kurt.

They got all together and returned to the mansion, after having completed the mission, and that night Jean saw Kurt sitting alone in the grass, close to the lake. So she sat next to him.

“Hey”

“Hello, Jean.”

There was a moment of companionable silence, with both of them staring at the darkened lake and the trees that surrounded it. And then Kurt.

“I'm sorry I was so useless today.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. It's those people who sold you and put you in a box the ones who should be sorry.”

Kurt looked at her and gave her and appreciative nod, even if he didn't quite believe her.

“I mean it, Kurt. None of us is perfect and flawless, you're allowed to break down every now and then, specially with what you've been through.”

There was another silence, as Jean tried to word want she wanted to say properly. This was important.

“But I just want you to know, whatever doubts you may have, they are just that. Nobody here wants to get rid of you, ok? And even if they did, even if the professor turned against you, you'd still have us. You will always us, all right? And we won't give up on you, we won't abandon you. We want you right here, smiling, appearing and disappearing, with your virtues and your flaws.”

A lone tear fell from Kurt's eye, but Jean wiped it.

“Give me a hug, idiot.”

And so they hugged and held on to each other, fiercely, painfully almost, trying to let go of all the bad memories.

Kurt was in a open space, there were no more boxes and he was with a friend, it was good.

Jean swore that she'd make the world a enclosed-space-free place for her friend, until he was able to handle it. But if she ever ran into the people who'd sold him.... Well. They better run.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! You can do a request on the comments too :)


	6. Impaled

They had been separated in a mission and someone took Scott and put him in some sort of metal helmet with gray sunglasses that let him see, but nothing else. He kept trying to look for Jean or someone but couldn't find anyone and at the end he was caught and deprived of his powers.

“Put him with the other one.” He heard one of the goons say, was kind of relieved that at least he'd be reunited with one of his team mates.

In that kind of helmet with glasses he could only see in shades of gray and whoever it was was slumped in the corner of the room, but Scott would had recognised those angel marks anywhere.

“Kurt?”

But why hadn't he poofed out. Was there an electric field here too? And the he saw it. There was something dark and liquid under him, a small pool, and it was getting slowly bigger. Blood. He approached his friend and saw that there was a metal rod sticking out of his stomach.

“Kurt!”

They'd ran him through with a metal bar to stop him form teleporting. He was breathing deeply and strangely and looked exhausted.

“Oh, god!”

“Scott...”

He could see the deep pain in his friend's bright eyes, the fear. And Scott was suddenly frozen in place, not knowing what to do. He felt he should stop the bleeding somehow, but if he removed the rod Kurt could bleed out... And his suit was too rigid, he couldn't rip out a piece to make a bandage.

“What do I do? Should I take it out?”

Kurt just looked at him those big pain-filled eyes and tried to talk, say something calming, but only ended up coughing up some blood and wheezing horribly. Scott put his hands on the wound, trying to stop the flow but felt he was only hurting Kurt more without actually helping. The blue mutant had his eyes closed and was clutching Scott's arm fiercely.

“I don't know what to do, I'm sorry.”

And between those disturbing rasps and wheezes, Kurt was trying to tell him something, whispering it, so their jailers wouldn't hear.

“I can get us out.”

Scott's eyes widened behind those metal glasses but he kept listening.

“Next time they open the door to bring someone in, hold on to me. I... can get us out of here.”

“You'll kill yourself!” Scott whispered back, worried. Kurt was in no state to be making any effort, much less to take himself and another person anywhere.

The pool of blood was getting bigger and Kurt's eyes were drooping and Scott felt useless, so utterly and completely helpless. His friends was dying before his very eyes and he could do nothing. He struggled against those metal glasses with all his strength, practically clawed his face trying to get rid of them so he'd be able to use his eyes and carve a hole in the door to get them both out. But he couldn't, he couldn't do anything and he screamed in frustration.

“Scott...” Kurt's soft, shaky voice said next to him. “Scott. It will... it will be fine. We will make it out.”

Scott dropped to his knees, hands on his face.

“It should be me telling you hopeful things, not the other way round.”

Kurt tried to smile from his corner on the floor but ended up coughing more blood. How could he have hope when the situation was so dire? He had metal sticking out of him, he must be in so much pain, and still he tried to smile.

Just then, there was a click on the door and it opened ever so slightly, as their captors wanted to throw in another prisoner. A tiny crack on the magnetic field big enough for Kurt, who held on with all the strength he had left to Scott and got them out of the building, despite how weak he was, despite the effort it took, despite the overwhelming pain. He did it, he managed, the way he always did.

Without even noticing, Scott found himself in a field, next to the facility where they'd been held captive

“Kurt?”

But Kurt was unconscious and there was blood on hi mouth. Scott went next to him, took his head and shoulders, shook him gently, cradled him in his lap.

“Wake up, Kurt, wake up!”

Scott was crying, desperately now, wildly, in a way he hadn't cried since he brother's death. H ekept repeating in his head “Jean, Professor, please help us, Kurt is dying, please, we have no time, KURT IS DYING, we need you, please, please.” And his hands were stained with Kurt's blood because he was still bleeding, he'd never stopped bleeding and no one was coming, he was going to lose his friend, watch him die, please no, not him, not so soon...

But as he was drowning in this spiral of agony people came and took Kurt away, to be cared for, they said. Scott was still in shock, and when Hank took off that metal thing off him, he saw that the boy's teary face and just embraced him.

“It will be fine. He's stronger than he looks. Have faith.”

Scott hadn't much of that blue guy at first. He looked funny, and it was funny how impossibly clueless he was with even the most basic things. It had been a decent entertainment, showing him around, showing him America. And then battle had come and he'd shown them that he was so much more than just a funny guy. He was a hero, and without him victory would have been much more difficult, maybe impossible.

Kurt was always there when you needed him, and never needed you in return. You could tell him a secret and he wouldn't tell a soul, and he'd genuinely try to help you. He was genuine in everything he did, and his life had been so terribly different from Scott's sheltered suburban way of life. He'd learned a lot from Kurt and he kept surprising him, showing him better ways of dealing with the world.

Scott was on his bedside now, waiting for something to change. They'd told him that it could be hours, even days until he woke up, because of how sever the damage had been. He didn't care. Scott had to be there, for him. If it had been someone else like Jean or Ororo they would have probably done something, helped him. But he'd been useless and he let down his friend and he couldn't forgive himself. Maybe this was his penance.

Kurt had been bandaged, given transfusions, and had now an IV, a heart monitor and other medical machines stuck to him, just so he could live. It was painful. Jean and some of the others went back to the facility, but Scott stayed. He stayed and he hoped, that the next minute, his eyes would open again and he's utter an “What did I miss” with that lovely accented voice of his. But it would be a while, Scott knew. Even when (not if, when, when) he woke up, there would be a long recovery ahead, with pain and difficulties and complications.

But it was okay. Scott could wait.

He looked at Kurt's blue face, at his chest that rose and fell every time and just waited. He would be there for Kurt, every step of the way. It may not be much, it may not be enough, but it was he could offer. He'd wait all that he had to wait.

That bedside was Scott's new home.

 


	7. Anemia (scrawny)

After the initial moment of pure enthusiasm in which he tried every type of food that they put in front of him, Kurt never ate much. There had never been a lot of food in the circus and he'd always been one of the last ones to get it, anyways. First were the older performers, then the most important acts, bosses, animals, local personnel, and then him. Some days he didn't get to eat, but that was fine. He would compensate another day, probably. And besides, he was used to subsisting with very little food, so it was ok.

It didn't matter all that much, what he ate or didn't eat, as long as he was able to perform. And he'd translated that system into his life in the X-Mansion. The professor and the others said that he could eat anything that he wanted, but Kurt was sure that other people had parents that paid for their kid's stay, and he was there free, and didn't want to abuse. He'd already gotten a room and clothes and money to go out with his friends, it was already too much. So he tried to limit it a bit, live like he had.

He'd never counted on people noticing, much less worrying about it.

The first one was Scott. He'd seen Kurt getting out of the shower, with only a towel on his hips and had looked surprised. Kurt had wanted to disappear thinking it was about his skin or his marks. But Scott commented not on his demonic features, but on his physique.

“Dude, you really are tiny under that uniform. We need to feed some burgers, and quick, I can see practically all your ribs, even under those marks. In fact, I'm going to teach you a new english word: scrawny.”

“What does it mean?”

“It means someone way too thin, too many bones, not enough meat. Put yourself some clothes, and let's put some spaghetti in you.”

“Weren't you meeting Jean in the library?”

“Oh shit, Jean! Thanks for reminding me! You're a true friend, dude.” Scott said, as he left.

* * *

 

The next one was to notice Jean, of course.

The two of them were training together, alone. Jean liked training with Kurt because he could be anywhere, appear from any part and it helped her train her senses, the ones that weren't her sight or mind ability. The hearing, for example, and logic, and strategy. And that day they had been there for practically the whole evening, when after materializing Kurt stumbled and nearly fell. Jean was there in an instant, worried she'd exhausted him.

“You okay?”

“Yes, yes, it's... it's nothing...”

“Are you sure? Gosh, Kurt, I can see your collarbone! Have you always been this skinny or do you have any problems with the food here? Because I could tell the professor to make you something, he usually listens. Or have you been losing weight? Because that, and feeling faint, could be a symptom of...”

“Jean, Jean, it's fine. I'm just... scrawny.” He said, proud of himself for remembering the word and smiled at the red head that innocent smile full of pointy teeth.

“Kurt, being scrawny is not a good thing. Let's go to the kitchen.”

* * *

 

The next was Hank.

He was patching Kurt up (which was always pleasant, because other kids whined and complained, about pain, about being bored, but Kurt just took it, and was curious about the medical equipment and the procedures, and was generally a nice kid) when he noticed how light the kid was. Sure, it was easy for him to move people because his mutation had made him stronger, but Hank was quite sure that someone as tall as that kid should weigh at least a bit more.

So he told Kurt to step on the scale and found out that the boy was over fifteen pounds underweight for someone his height, which, despite Kurt's happy kinda healthy appearance, was quite concerning. In fact, checking his eyes and doing some tests, it turned out that the german boy was quite anemic.

“Kurt, is there some reason why you're not eating? Does your stomach hurt, do you have any allergies? Any problems with the food?”

“Nein, nein, the food is great!”

“Then why aren't you eating enough?”

Kurt had noticed that his classmates ate much more, and felt it was normal. Still, it felt a bit too much for him.

“I don't want to abuse.” He admitted.

“Abuse?” Hank didn't understand a thing.

“Well, I have no way of paying back, I don't work or anything, and no family is paying for all this...accommodation. I don't want to be too greedy and ruin things.”

“Greedy? You? Oh goodness! How could you think something like that?" Sometimes that boy was excessively sweet. "You're not gonna ruin anything for eating, Kurt, we want you to eat, we want you to be all right, you hear me? I will give you some iron supplements but you need to eat more, ok? Put some more meat in those bones.”

“No more scrawny?”

“That's right, Kurt no one wants you scrawny. Eat things with lots of calories, ok? And come back in two weeks!”

“I will, thanks.”

Hank spoke with Charles who in turn spoke with Kurt about how he didn't owe them anything and that he could abuse his hospitality all he wanted, emphasizing that the food there was for every student, and that he had money to cover every expense. Charles also spoke with the boy's friend's, so they would keep an eye on him.

* * *

 

And they did. Some days later, they went to a beach in the Hamptons and Kurt wore only some red shorts and they all saw perfectly how lanky and skinny he was, the shadow of bones under skin.

“Look at that. So skinny. Probably because he never had a mother who told him to eat more, to eat everything that was on the plate.” Jubilee commented as she waved at Kurt, who was playing with the waves all excited.

“Well, we'll have to be his mother now, all of us.” Ororo said. She had to admit, to more she knew the boy, the more protective she became. 

And so Jubilee, Ororo, Jean and Scott decided they were Kurt's collective mother and that he'd never again feel that he didn't have the right to eat.

“And what a beautiful boy that we have.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double feature tonight, some fluff to compensate the angst of the previous chapter. As usual, I long for your comments and feedback, and requests are open! :)


	8. Taken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by A tall friend ;)

Jubilee awoke to rough hands throwing her around. She found herself in an unknown place, with cuffs in her hands. She was in some sort of concrete cell and there was only a metal door with a tiny window that led to an unknown hallway. Someone had taken her and other seven students while they were sleeping. And the other kids were just as scared and confused as her.

Fortunately, one of them was Kurt and looking through the window he thought he was able to get them out. He'd been training and it turned out that he could move three people at a time withut exhausting himself. So he decided to take them by turns instead of all them at once, to avoid passing put or getting too weak to reach their desired destination (the X-mansion) and took Jubilee and other two girls first.

They grabbed Kurt's slender pyjama-clad arms and after three of four teleportations they were back at the Xmansion, bewildered but otgerwise ok. 

“I'll be right back.” Kurt said, and a couple of minutes later he was back with three other people and went back to get the last girl.

But this time, he never returned.

After waiting, three or four minutes for the reutrn of their friends, they called some adults and the professor, Hank and Raven joined them in a living room, all seemingly very concerned about what had happened, and about the whereabouts of the two missing students. As they were finishing the tale of what had happened, the last missing girl appeared barefoot, running to the entrance at an incredible speed.

“We only made it halfway.” She said, fear in her voice.

“Where's Kurt?” Jubilee asked, fearing the worst.

“They shocked him with an electrical gun and he fell – I he – he told me to run, that he'd catch up with me, but he hasn't, has he? He's not here? Oh my god, I left him with those people, didn't I?" 

“We'll go to Cerebro to fin him and understand better what's going on. You kids should go back to bed, we'll tell you when we know something.”

Jubilee refused to leave until she knew that her friend was all right, but the others complied. Charles called Peter, fearing they'd need his gift for a speedy rescue. And so they went to Cerebro and Charles found Kurt without any problems. But there was something wrong. 

“I know where they have him, it's not far from here. But they are shocking him with electricity to prevent him from coming to us, and he's in a lot of pain and very scared. And with good reason, the people who have him meant to experiment with all the kids, but now they only have Kurt.”

 

“I'll run there, have him back in no time.” Peter said, lowering his goggles. 

“Bring me too.” Raven said, trying to control her anger. “I can help, give us a way to go in or out, lend a hand if something goes wrong, help carry him if he can't teleport.”

Peter nodded and they were gone in a flash, leaving a group of very worried mutants. What if they were too late? What if all that electricity damaged his heart and it stopped working? What if they started his experiments and left him with sequels forever... or worse. What if those goons got so angry that he was too far gone by the time he was freed?

Raven had tried to keep her distance from the kid, pretend he was just another student, that she had connection with, she really had tried. She made her choice all those years ago and she stuck by it. So she only intervened when the boy's life was in direct danger. Maybe this time she could have left Peter to rescue him (and she did trust the speedster, he was a good person) but it had struck a cord, because Azazel had died after being experimented on (she saw the pictures, saw the files, all they did to him) and she couldn't let that happen to this poor boy too. She had to make it right.

* * *

Kurt was absolutely terrified and all parts of his body hurt horribly: his limbs, his chest, his stomach, his head, they were on fire, screaming out in agony. They had taken off hte top half of his pyjamas and put him in some sort metal table while he was half inconscious from too much electricity and and put his hands and feet in metal shackles connected to the table. They kept shocking him with that electric gun every now and them, to prevent him from recovering and being able to leave.

He didn't know what they meant to do with him but it didn't look good. All the men seemed incredibly pissed off, frustrated and extremely aggressive. Kurt was almost grateful to the pain clouding his head so that he couldn't properly think of what these people were going to do to him. He kept trying to move, to leave as he always did, but he couldn't, there was only more pain. He was trapped and at the mercy of people who only wanted to hurt him.

There were burn marks on his chest and arms from times the goons had held that gun too long on him. Every time he moved, tried to move or teleport, there were on him. A tear fell from his eye... He didn't want to die like this, he wanted to be back in his bed, with his friends. At least he'd managed to help all the others. Small mercies.

Raven felt this was taking too long. Since when was this kid so slow? But before she could even finish her thought, they were there inside the facility, next to the room where they had the boy. Peter got in and out in a millisecond, uncuffing Kurt and moving him out of the room.

Suddenly, Kurt was in top of Raven while Peter handled the security people. That incredibly tall blue boy was on top of her, only half-conscious, tears on his eyes and burn marks all over him. She wanted to say something, soothe him, tell him that those electricity people wouldn't hurt him again, but she froze completely and just took his weight, held on to him. For all those times she hadn't been there, for all those times he'd been hurt and had no one. 

* * *

 

They got back to the mansion relatively soon and Raven left, a bit overwhelmed by the situation.

“How is he?” Jubilee asked, not having left the professor's side waiting for news.

Peter had put him in a bed and Hank was finding something to treat the burns.

“He's still a bit twitchy, I think he doesn't fully realize that he's not in that place anymore, and that he can move without being hurt.”

She sat next to him, and her heart broke a bit when she saw not just how much they had hurt him but the tears on his cheeks. When he opened his eyes, he saw her face, expectant.

“I got you out?” He whispered, not quite remembering correctly how the first half of the night had gone.

“You got us all out, Kurt. And we got you out, too. Now you have to let us take care of you, ok?”

Jubilee took his hand and they smiled for a moment, trying to forget, or at least minimise the horror of the night.

The next time Kurt awoke, nearly all his burns had been bandaged and he didn't feel so bad, the pain had started to ebb away. And there were seven smiley faces waiting, on his bedside, to make sure he was okay and to tell him how much they appreciated what he'd done for them. His sacrifice. They called themselves the Nightcrawler fanclub.

Sometimes Kurt had nightmares, about the shocks, and the metal bed where they had him. He dreamt that they took him back, away from his friends and again into that horror. Probably he'd always be scared of electricity, one way or another. Sometimes Jubilee came to his room and they talked for hours, just so he wouldn't have to go to sleep and face the nightmares.

“Whatever happens, we'll always be there to save you. Always.”

 


	9. Heatstroke

It was so hot, Kurt felt as if he was melting. In his nearly twenty years of life Kurt didn't think he'd been so hot, that he'd known or even imagined that such heat was possible. Not in Munich, not in Berlin not even when they ventured to cities more to the south like Freiburg. On their way in the car, he felt he was drenched in sweat but the rest were just saying what a wonderful weather this was, so didn't complain.

They had gone to the beach and this was supposed to be a good day so Kurt decided not to let the heat ruin his mood. After a long dip in the water he decided to imitate his friends Jubilee and Ororo and lay on the towel they set out for him. It was just them and Peter and Hank as the responsible adults on their day at the beach. Hot as it may be, Kurt was enjoying himself immensely.

He'd hardly slept the previous night the excitement. A day at the beach! With friends! With sea breeze and waves and ice cream! He'd been positively giddy, imagining the possibilities, the fun... After so long working nearly every day of his life, fearing even the circus would eventually reject him and abandon him (as it finally did) or substitute for a more impressive, less weird mutant, leaving him homeless, penniless and alone, now, suddenly, he had friends, he had food and shelter and he wasn't afraid of being kicked out or sold. He even had free time! And plans to which he was invited!

Jubilee had even given him a special red swimsuit with a hole for his tail and his name sewn on the inside. It had been so thoughtful and unexpected, he'd nearly wept. And now he was there, wet with saltwater, laying in a towel next to two of his favorite people in the world. So what if it was a bit too hot for him? He really couldn't complain.

They spoke a bit, the three of them, about free time, about teachers and classmates (Scott and Jean were so going to hook up) and Kurt felt so accepted he could have exploded. After a while, the girls decided to close their eyes for a bit and sunbathe and Kurt, exhausted after a restless night and with the sea breeze on his face, softly fell asleep. Somewhere in the back of his head he realised that all that heat couldn't be good and he was getting a bit of a headache, but he kind of didn't care.

“Aww, look at that. He's fallen asleep on the towel.” Jubilee said and both girls smiled, looking at their blue friend, looking so peaceful.

“He's like the cutest thing in the world.”

“You know, when I met him I thought it was weird, a guy with a tail, but I've grown fond of it.”

“It's 'cos it's Kurt's. Everything related to this boy automatically becomes cute.”

“Why do girls like you never talk about me like that?” Peter said, suddenly appearing with a popsicle.

“You have you charms, but you're too hyper to be cute.”

“And look at that face. You can't compete with that.”

“I'll make sure to keep him away from potential conquests, then.”

* * *

 

And hour later, the three of them were playing cards when when Hank came to them, all soaked blue fur after his bath.

“How's it going?”

“I'm beating them like they've never been beaten before?” Ororo said.

And then Hank noticed Kurt and the doctor senses in him tingled.

“How long has he been sleeping?”

“A while, why?”

“Spending too long in the sun without moving can dangerous, lead to heatstroke.” He put one of his hands of the german boy's face. “He's too hot and there is no sweat, I don't like this. Kurt? Kurt?”

Kurt moaned softly but didn't fully wake.

“Peter, can you take him to the shade?”

“Sure.”

Kurt hardly registered being taken and sat in a plastic chair in under the shadow of a big beach umbrella. He felt it was part of a dream, that he was still asleep.He felt disoriented, not quite there, vaguely nauseous.

Meanwhile, Storm and Jubilee felt really guilty that they hadn't done anything while their friend was slowly roasting on the sun. They should have known, should have given him some water, should have put something to protect him from the sun. But they hadn't and now poor unused-to-this-heat Kurt was burning up.

They started cooling him off with cold water and ice packs (on his back, on his back) and after a while, because his temperature hadn't gone down enough. So Hank and Ororo took him, putting his arms around them, to some showers near the beach and placed him under the cold water, to see if they could lower his temperature and get him to react. If they couldn't, they'd have to call the emergency services, as heatstroke could in some cases be fatal.

Luckily, the cold shower had the desired effect and Kurt realised that he was no longer sleeping, that he was soaked in really cold and that there concerned faces holding him upright. Storm released a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding when she saw his striking eyes finally open and focused.

“Kurt? You with us?”

Kurt just hummed softly.

“Uhmmm.... kalt. Kalt ist gut.”

So, he wasn't completely with them, but he was getting there. They kept putting cold in him until he reached an acceptable temperature, and became functional again, realised where he was. Jubilee apologised a thousand times for not having noticed before, but Kurt just brushed them off, saying he shouldn't have fallen asleep anyways.

As they were going back in one of Charles' cars, with the A/C in full mode and a mother-henish Jubilee still hovering over a recovering Kurt, he smiled and said, softly.

“Beach day was great. Back again soon?”

And how could they deny such a polite request? Although, for the next time, they would prepare a big nice umbrella and a tacky sunhat. But, yes, why not – back again soon.

 

 


	10. Poisoned

Hank had known, Raven had known it too. That they would go after them, that despite the apparent peace there was still a lot of hatred towards them, that at some point one of the hate groups, would get together, get smart and strike. They had just hoped the kids would be spared, but they had been the easisest target.

There had been a batch of poisoned fruit and seven kids had gotten ill, very ill. The bad thing was, they didn't what the hell the poison had been – Hank been able to isolate the poisonous element, but couldn't identify it, which meant that he didn't know how to counteract it. And the school didn't have a lot of personnel, which meant the he had to do a lot of work himself: take care of the kids and at the same time try to find a solutions.

Fortunately, he wasn't alone. While Charles and Raven were mostly focused on finding who had sent the poisoned food, of who was responsible so they could know how to counteract it, Hank had a bunch of volunteer students helping him both in the lab and in the infirmary. Well, a bunch of them, technically three kids, but they were very useful. Specially Kurt, the only boy.

Thanks to Kurt he could do everything much quicker, the boy could get him things for bring people to help when there was an emergency, get him supplies in the blink of an eye, transport him around the mansion.... Kurt was good with the sick people too, helped them be hopeful, was kind and gentle and such a big help. Sometimes when he felt blocked Hank told Kurt his problem and the kid commented on it, or gave him an idea that turned the situation around.

For not having had a traditional education, the kid was really smart, smarter than many people with actual university degrees. He was able to think on his feet, prioritize properly and think creatively when he needed to. Kurt helped, Kurt proposed knew ideas, Kurt helped him be calm when he had to and supportive too. He'd helped him supplies, with the care of the sick, even with some of the chemical stuff. He'd never been on a lab before, but he was a fast learner and very willing. And after all that Hank had bossed him around, he had never complained, not once. “Anything I can do to help”

Thank god for Kurt.

Then one of the kids died, and it was hell. Hank buried himself in the lab, not sleeping, only eating when Kurt or Raven prepared something and practically forcing him to eat. He needed to find a solution before they lost anyone else, no matter how much it took no matter the personal cost. These kids had to come first.

And that Tuesday he was going back to the kid, to tell him about his latest developments with the compound and his new ideas for antidotes after doing some experiments but when he found him, Kurt was alone, face scrunched up in pain, holding his midsection tightly.

“No.” He whispered, feeling the weight of doom on his shoulders. “Not you too, please, not you too.”

Hank felt his whole world suddenly coming undone, the little few strings that held him together breaking and leaving him alone, forever falling into the darkness, breaking down. They'd gotten him too, they'd gotten Kurt.

“Dr. McCoy?”

Hank took the boy's face and looked for signs of poisoning. They were there, if not as easy to see because of the boy's dark skin.

“Why didn't you tell me? I... I've been ordering you around while you were sick, Kurt, you should have been resting, with the others...”

Kurt drew a small little smile.

“I wanted to help.”

Hank left all his reservations and insecurities aside and intensely hugged the boy, trying to keep the tears at bay. They'd got him too – Kurt was sick, he could be the next to die. Uncertain but welcoming the contact, the german boy hugged back, trying to soothe the intense sadness that seemed that have taken hold of the scientist.

“And I still can... It hurts, but I can help.”

It had been hurting for days before Hank noticed anything, and he'd been able to help regardless. It felt wrong not to do anything, to just sit back. But Hank was having none of it.

“No, Kurt. You've done enough and you need to be focusing on getting better, all right? That's an order. Rest, take the painkillers, don't use your power, don't exert yourself. I need all your energy to fight this. Go to the infirmary now, I don't want to see you out of bed, ok?”

Something broke inside Hank that night. Somehow, this made everything much worse. It wasn't that some kids were more important than others, but.... He did feel an special connection to this kid. He was blue, like him, he was kind, he'd saved all of them from a flying plane, he helped around the lab more times than he count...

Kurt had become a kind of surrogate son for Hank and he'd never told him how much he meant to him. Because it would have been weird, and uncalled for, sure... But didn't the kid deserve some credit for all that he did? He didn't have family in germany, or if he did they hadn't kept in touch or come to visit, which meant that all he had was his X family. And Hank wished he'd done something more for the kid, found out when his birthday was to make him a party, give him a book to thank him for his efforts, something. But no, he hadn't, he had taken him and his help for granted.

And now he was dying, dying like the rest of them. He'd been feverish, nauseous and feeling faint for the past week and still he'd been helping. As Hank was there, trying not to weep, that poison was attacking his stomach, his liver, his lungs, and he could only speculate on what he could do stop its effects.

Trying not to think about the boy, he drink a whole jug of coffee and went to the lab. He spent a good five hours working there, absolutely focused and only stopped when he needed to wait two hours for results. He went to the medbay and saw the students there, laying there, becoming paler. They had lost a girl just the previous day and other two were already comatose.

“How are they holding up?”

The doctor they'd brought to look after them gave him a summary, who was better, who was worse, how much time they had left.

“And the new kid?”

“Worse than he'd like to admit. He's not able to keep food down anymore and we had to put him on an oxygen mask because of how it had affected his lungs. "

“The lungs already?”

“Yeah, it's amazing that he's been standing until now.”

Hank sat next to Kurt's bedside. He was sleeping peacefully, the arm with the IV out of the bed, tail out moving slowly. His mouth was covered by that terrible oxygen mask but he still managed to look calm, soothing. Hank took that blue hand on his own, hoping not to wake him up.

“I'm sorry about all this, kid. I'm sorry I didn't notice sooner, I'm sorry that you're hurting so much, I'm sorry that I can't seem to find the solution. I'm sorry about anyone who's ever said something hateful to you, when you've nothing but kind, I'm sorry we haven't appreciated your hard work enough.”

Kurt didn't say anything, continued to sleep while machines beeped around him.

“I just wanted to say, that we are so proud of you, Kurt. Me, the professor, Raven. You are so young but still you have taught us a lot, about what it really means to fight for good, about kindness and handling the horrors that come our way with kindness and patience. You just have to hold on, okay? Be strong like you always been, for your friends, for yourself... for me. Just hold on. I can't lose you too.”

He didn't know if the boy had heard him or not, but he didn't mind.

The next day, two more students died and Kurt's situation took a turn for the worse. Hank had to hold the boy that had been helping him while he vomited blood and his eyes got wet from the effort. It was heartbreaking and the only thing Hank could do was hold his hand to be squeezed, offer some comfort through the pain. That night he nearly tore apart his lab in frustration.

And then, 24 hours later, he found the solution, found an antidote and run like hell to the infirmary with needles for the surviving affected kids. Some of them would (and did recover immediately), others were too far gone and Kurt and another girl could go either way. It was a tense couple of days, even if the antidote had worked wonderfully and everyone was very to grateful to Hank. It was good to see the kids getting better, slowly but surely, see that's nightmare's end.

But Kurt wasn't recovering at the same speed at the others, and Hank was worried. His oxygen levels were still very low and he spent most of the day sleeping. Maybe because he'd exhausted himself too much while he was hiding that he'd been affected. In fact, he was the last kid to remain in the infirmary and even after two weeks he was still too weak to go back to his room. But he was awake now, which was an improvement.

“You saved us all, Dr. McCoy. Thanks.”

Hank took a deep breath and put on his best serious face.

“I need to tell you three things, Kurt. One: don't you ever scare me like that again. If you feel bad you come to me, no matter how much you want to help or what other excuse there is. You can always come to me, for anything.” Kurt nodded, listening attentively while sitting on his bed. “Two: Your selflessness is a good quality and I understand that you're used to putting other people first, but you need to take care of yourself. This is important, you're important. I don't think I got to thank you for all you helped when people started getting sick and really, you helped so much. You're a wonderful kid and you mean a lot to so many of us, so... just think about it, the next time you risk your life, all right?”

Kurt nodded, touched.

“And, kid.... get well soon.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somebody wrote some tags about Hank being Kurt's stepdad because of his almost thing with Raven and I was left with a bucnh of dad Hank feels


	11. Scars (the angel marks)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by A stranger, Falconeye and Guest (this is my interpretation, hope you like it)

Scott noticed for the first time when they were having a check up after a mission. Kurt was next to him, shirtless and a gash in his shoulder was being stitched and he saw that not all his body was covered by those marks in his face, that there was a blank in one of his forearms and in his neck and all through his back. It was weird, yes it was, but not as weird as how impossibly skinny that boy was. That couldn't be part of his mutation, could it?

Jean, who was in front of them also noticed that Kurt's marks were kind of irregular. Perfectly symmetrical (mostly) and proportional, but were only in some places. He had them on his face and on his chest but nothing on his back. Only in places he could reach, but didn't make sense to her at the moment. It was weird, but a lot Kurt was weird, like his hands and feet and still quite endearing. Weird, but beautiful. She didn't think about it too much.

They found out Kurt's marks true nature some time later, and in the worst way possible. Ororo and Jubilee stormed in his room to tell him some juicy news when they found him with some razor blades, cutting up one of his arms, deeply and carefully.

“Kurt, you won't believe what just... Oh, my god! Kurt! You're bleeding! Stop!” Jubilee screamed, her eyes widening.

Ororo took the bloody razor blades, to prevent more damage from happening.

“What were you doing?” She asked.

“Were you hurting yourself? On purpose? Oh my god, Kurt!”

And if the situation wasn't chaotic enough, Scott and Jean appeared on the door, out of breath.

“I heard you think that Kurt was hurt from the lake. What is going on?” Jean asked.

Scott got closer.

“Your arm! What happened, man? We have to get some bandages, stop the bleeding... maybe call Hank?”

“He did it to himself.” Jean whispered, getting bits of information from his head. “And all the rest... all those marks...”

“I thought it was part of his mutation!”

“Me too! That's horrible, it must have hurt so much, honey, why?”

“Angel marks?” Jean continued, reading his thoughts. “Why would you need to carve angel marks all over your body, Kurt?”

But he was gone in a blue cloud before they even let him speak. And nobody knew where he could have gone. There was a moment of silence and then Scott said:

“We didn't let him speak. We gave him no chance to explain himself.”

“We are the worst.” Jean agreed.

Jubilee was still too shocked.

“He was cutting himself! How can you explain that?”

“We should find him. Calmly ask him if he's okay and why he has done that to his body, but in a calm, understanding previously thought out way.” Jean decided.

“I can go.” Ororo said. “I think he trusts me, and he saw that I didn't panic as much as you. I can control my feelings relatively well.”

“Ok. But whatever you find out, you tell us.”

 

* * *

 

She eventually found the german with his back on a tree, close to the lake. He liked going there, but she didn't know why. She didn't know so many things about Kurt, she didn't know if he had a family before the circus, didn't know why there were so many things he was discovering now, didn't know hardly anything about his life before the X-men. He kept asking about the rest of them, and nobody seemed to ask back.

“Kurt, please, don't disappear. I wanted to apologize.”

He furrowed his brow.

“We shouldn't have come into your room like that. It was an invasion of your privacy and we won't be doing it again.”

Kurt nodded slowly.

“It's... it's okay.”

“I also feel bad about the chaos that followed, with all the screams and...we should have given you room to explain. We just reacted like that because we worry, but I'm sure you have your reasons.”

Kurt tried to smile, but he was tired, really tired. He had a bad week, with self doubt and nightmares filling his days and nights, and now he had scared (and probably alienated) most of his friends. Great.

“I won't take it out of your mind like Jean, but it would great to know your side of this, why you did it, why you keep doing it. The others would be less horrified if they could rationalise it somehow, I think. But it's all right if you don't want to share. We should be allowed to have our own secrets, even if they scare other people.”

Kurt was silent for a while, but understood that wasn't an option. People here saw things differently, treated him differently than in the circus. He wasn't supposed to do many of the things that he used to because he was “so young” and “practically a child”. It was nice, at times, but confusing, and sometimes a bit too much.

“We all have good and bad days, ja? When I was younger, I had many bad days. I saw everyone looking normal and people calling me an aberration, and I... it was difficult to live with myself, to look in the mirror. I wished, prayed for normal skin and normal hands, even thought of cutting off my tail. Demons have tails, Storm, and that was the last thing I wanted to be. And then saw the symbol of the angel and they were so beautiful...Yes, they come with a penance of pain and blood, but they help me look at myself in the mirror. Make me feel like less of a demon.”

Ororo caressed the marks on his face lightly.

“But you could've done it in a softer way...Why not tattoos? Why did have to hurt yourself so much?”

“It's the penance, the price I have to pay.”

“Pay for what?”

“For being what I am... for being created this way... A sin made flesh.”

Ororo closed her fist and looked into her friends bright big eyes. The world didn't deserve someone as outstanding as Kurt, and yet he felt the need to punish himself for what he was, what he had no choice over. It was painful and unfair and it made grey clouds and gusts of wind form around them.

“You cannot think that. Not after all the good you've done, how much you've helped everyone.”

“Then I have bad days, they are really bad. It was good lately, since I got here, but sometimes, you don't decide when the darkness hits you.I try to control it, but... sometimes I feel I deserve the pain.”

“You don't. And, Kurt, you need to find another way to cope. One of these days, you could hit a major artery and bleed out, or one of the cuts could get infected and we'd lose you. And that is just simply unacceptable. Not to mention the pain, how all of that must have hurt. We'll find some sort of alternative ways of dealing, ok, maybe accepting. When you have a bad day, you come to us, you tell us, we find a solution.”

“Ororo...”

“I know it will take time, I know things aren't solved with just kind words. But we'll walk this road together, and somehow we'll end up making you see yourself like the angel you really are. With time and patience. But no more cutting, ok? There a lot of people here who care about you, and would get really worried if you did that again.”

“I will try.” He said, and meant it.

“You are so much more beautiful than you realize, Kurt. And we'll help you see it.”

 


	12. The drowning incident

“Jean!”

Scott was screaming as he watched his unconscious friend fall into the water as if in slow motion.

“Jean!”

Jean could do something, she could stop his fall, she could move him so he wouldn't fall into the river, if he fell into the river while passed out he would drown, the only thing Scott could do was destroy him with his eyes, oh goodness, Jean, Jean!

But Jean was too busy fighting off the minion that was in front of her and even she could have she couldn't have focused quick enough to lift their friend at the speed he was falling and put him in a safe place. She wished she could do something, she was trying to fix that situation too, she could hear Scott's panic perfectly in her head, it echoed in her mind, making her even more anxious.

And so Kurt fell into the water softly, almost as if he didn't weigh anything, practically softly, almost gracefully. He kept falling into the water, sinking without stopping. The water would fill his lungs and he'd die, and that would be the end of Kurt Wagner, the incredible Nightcrawler, gone because his friends weren't quick enough to save him. He was going to drown, drown, drown.

Scott ran and jumped to the water, ignoring their enemies, ignoring everything around him. As he sank into the blue water he frantically searched for any sign of his friend. It was difficult to see anything below water and withr those metal glasses on (and the added pressure that the more time he took, the less chances of being able to find Kurt alive). At the beginning it felt like the river was too big and that he'd never him, for some excruciating seconds Scott thought he would run out of air before before finding any trace of his friend, that it was hopeless. He was going to fail Kurt, Kurt who had never ever failed him, and he was failing just like he hadn't been able to save Alex.

But then he caught sight of what he thought looked like Kurt's tail and raced there, swam as fast as his limbs let him. It was indeed Kurt, still with his eyes closed, lifeless. Scott tried to take him up and thankful enough, even if he was limp as a rag doll, he was quite light for someone as long as him and Scott was able to pull them both back to the surface.

He took a deep breath while tightly holding Kurt's chest, who hadn't reacted at all to being pulled back from the water. The battle still raged on but thankfully Hank had seen them emerge from the water and after seeing Scott's panic and Kurt's state he knocked out his opponent and helped Scott pull Kurt in the sidewalk, where they could tend to him.

“What happened?” Hank asked, not having seen anything.

“The one with the purple eyes, he knocked out Kurt while they were in midair on top of the water and he fell, he passed out and fell into the water, I... I tried to find him as soon as I could, but I don't... I don't think he's breathing...”

Sadly, Scott's assessment was correct and Hank noted that Kurt wasn't moving any air. He started CPR immediately breathing into his mouth and doing compressions on his chest (one, two, three, one, two, three, come on kid), quickly, strong but without hurting, at the rhythm he'd been taught, focused on doing this properly. This poor kid's life was literally on his hands.

There was a red explosion and suddenly Jean was next to close, a hand on her mouth trying not to be overwhelmed by the sadness of everyone, and how weak Kurt presence was. He was fading right in front on them.

“I heard you, Scott, but I couldn't... I couldn't... I should have done something...”

Scott just hugged her (and got her all wet) and buried his head on her and cried while whispering softly.

“Not him too, please, not him too.”

Kurt just lay there, receiving the compressions, still unmoving. And each time he didn't react, each time he lay there unconscious, he was further, the were less chances of getting any reaction at all. Scott was full on crying by now, not wanting to look, buried in Jean's neck, while she tried to be strong for all of them.

Hank thought about giving up, about let the kid go in peace, but couldn't, so he just continued, continued, continued... Until it finally happened.

It was weak, just a bit of water spewed, nothing too spectacular, but it meant that he was recovering and that the water was finally getting out. He slowly opened his eyes, not sure of what was going on but hurting all over (specially in his chest) and saw a few hopeful faces staring back at him. And then he had to bend over on himself and puked a bunch of river water (so embarrassing) but his friend's eyes were on him not disgusted but relieved, happy, grateful and so incredibly glad to see him awake, no matter the weakened state he was in. Scott wiped the tears from his eyes and smiled, Jean breathed the longest sigh of relief ever, Hank pat his back with an enormous grin his face.

“That was a close call. Let's not do that again, ok, Kurt?”

 


	13. Migraine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by calzart in tumblr

Dark.

Make it absolutely dark. Don't let a single speck of light get in, don't move an inch.

That was the only way that made the pain if not tolerable (because nobody could tolerate such pulsating horrible pain) slightly manageable. At least more manageable than if he was with people and noise and light. He hid in that hidden tiny room of the basement and hoped that, since no one knew that it existed, nobody would come, and bring noise and light with them.

He was laying on the cold floor, made a ball, eyes shut. Let it pass, let it pass.

The pain was so intense, it weakened him absolutely, completely. It was a horrible radiating thing that originated on the base of his skull and spread and took everything in its place. Things like and sound and movement only made it worse, so he had to stay very still and avoid people, any sort of life on the outside, and just let it pass. It was horrible, but he'd gotten relatively used to it.

* * *

 

It happened when he physically exhausted himself sometimes, when they were in a place with too many bright lights, sometimes for no apparent reason. It almost always warned him before the pain started with different signs, sometimes more softly, sometimes quite abruptly. And Kurt knew that he had to disappear, get out of the light and sound, and prepare for the inevitable horror. Fortunately, his ability came in handy in this case.

Generally it started with him seeing wrong, maybe he saw double, maybe black spots and there was always that sensation of falling, that the floor had disappeared underneath him and that he had lost completely his balance. A couple of times he even lost his sight completely for a moment which was really scary (but thankfully didn't seem to have sequels or anything).

The first time it happened he'd been performing on the circus and he fell from the trapeze where he was to the floor, unable to teleport because he couldn't see where he was or where he was going. He fell on the floor, face first, scared to death that he'd never see again. And when he tried to get up he had no balance, and another performer had to escort him out.

He had been so horribly scared, that he was never going to be able to see, to teleport, to see the stars or any other countries beyond his germany. He cried for hours and then the pain started and it was horrible and he cried but didn't scream because every sound was a knife in his head. What could he have done to deserve this? Why was God punishing him like that? But then he fell asleep and when he woke up the pain was gone and he could see again. But occasionally, the pain came back.

When he moved to America, one of the first things he did was look for a place where he could spend his bad times, just in case. It had been relatively easy and the next time his hands tingled and he had problems hearing and with his balance he teleported to his hideout and weathered all that horror by himself. When they asked him, he just said that he hadn't been feeling well and needed to be alone. It wasn't really a lie.

But the next time things hadn't been so easy. He started noticing that he couldn't see properly (and that vertigo, always that damn vertigo, that sensation of falling, falling, falling, like there was no floor, but they were in the middle of training in the danger room and everyone had a distinct role in the plan in place, if he wanted to leave he had to at least warn them, say something, but he was getting really dizzy and didn't know if he would have time...

“Jean...”

But then everything got worse and he fell in a dead faint in the middle of the danger room. Everyone left what they were doing and got close to the fallen boy, worried.

“What happened to him?”

“He wanted to get out.” Jean said. “Real bad, but I don't know why.”

Hank entered the place, worry in his features and he knelt next to Kurt, to take his pulse and see if he could find the cause for this.

“His vitals are normal, but I'll take him to the medbay to run some tests, try to figure out why he passed out like this.”

He took the younger boy in his arms and Jean, Scott and Ororo followed him, anxious. What was going on? Kurt usually lasted this training sessions without even getting tired and when they finished he always smiled. This was so very unlike him, and very out of the blue. Jean tried to calm Scott down, because his thoughts were worrying her even more.

When Kurt realised where he was again and opened his eyes (not in the danger room, but he had no memory of teleporting out, much less to a bed) there was people and noises and lights and many sets of eyes looking at him concerned. Feeling the pain coming on, and unable to speak he just thought, hoping Jean or the professor would hear. “I need to leave, I'm sorry, don't come and find me, I need to be alone.” And so, with the little strength he had left in his body he disappeared and materialized in his secret room.

Dark.

He needed the darkness and the silence, not to think about anything, not to move, not to think, just let the time pass, let the pain pass. When it did, it was already night, and he materialised on the door of his room. Hank and the professor were there, inside waiting for him.

“Kurt, good. You gave us quite a scare.” Hank said. “Are you feeling better?”

Kurt nodded, shyly.

“I didn't mean to worry you.”

“Do you want to explain or would you let me look in your head?” Charles asked, knowing that having to give explanations in English when his head was still recovering could be difficult. The boy, still a bit nauseous let him look.

And saw Charles saw it, saw him hiding in places to avoid the pain, the episodes, the blindness, the vertigo, everything.

“Ah, well, mystery solved. Our dear boy suffers from migraines, and quite severe ones at that, accompanied by dizziness, vertigo, and visual difficulties.” He determined.

“Possibly basilar migraines then. Why didn't you tell us that you had migraines? There are drugs in here that can help you, at least to decrease the symptoms.” Hank said, looking at the boy with sadness.

“Nobody asked. I didn't want to impose, be demanding – I can handle it on my own, I always have.”

“Well, alone is not an option anymore, Kurt.” Charles said, smiling softly, talking in a low voice. “You have a familly now, you know - your friends are really worried.”

“I'm sorry.”

“You don't have to be. Just count on us for anything, all right? Don't be afraid – you're not demanding. We ask a lot of you, and you're allowed to ask something of us too. Don't you doubt it.”

“Kurt, when you were a child, did you go to doctors often?”

“No... People were afraid that I'd be locked up, experimented on, maybe sell me, because of how I look. But it was all right, the sister of one of the clowns came sometimes to help, if things became too...bad.”

Charles saw an image of a slightly younger Kurt, writhing in pain victim of a severe colic while a clown, makeup smudged but clown clothes still on and his sister (who was not a doctor but a nurse, but tried her best) trying to help in the tiny cot of the circus. It made Charles sad, he who'd had absolutely everything all the time, all types of expert care for every small ailment, and this boy had only had a dimly lit cot and a nurse who had to steal from the hospital to tend to the boy.

“Well, tomorrow you come by the medbay and we'll do a complete checkup, ok? And I will ask you about everything and I want you to tell me everything. Deal?” Hank asked.

“Deal.”

“You can come now” Charles said and suddenly three heads appeared on the hallway expectant. “But don't wear him out too much.”

And so Charles and Hank left, vowing to keep a closer eye on the kid, to avoid any more scares.

And then Kurt's friend came, to ask what had happened, with pillows and blankets and hot chocolate, and Kurt wasn't used to all of this attention, but it was not a bad feeling. Not bad at all.

 


	14. Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another request in tumblr

The Xavier's school for gifted youngsters was on fire. An investigation conducted later concluded later that it had been a short circuit on the electric installation and not attack against mutants or an student's ability gone rogue. But whatever the cause, it was four AM and everyone was in their deepest sleep – no one felt the fire until it was almost too late.

If Peter had been there, he would have performed one of his legendary musical rescues, but he was downtown visiting his mother so he didn't find out until the next day. They needed another hero.

Kurt was no stranger to fire as in the circus there had been a few incidents. He had worked with fireworks in the past, with gunpowder and failing human cannon balls. A lot of times, things ended in fire, and if things were on fire even the most squeamish of the performers took Kurt's hand to get out of there, and go back to safety. So when he smelled the smoke, Kurt knew what to do.

He started going room by room taking kids and teachers out, one by one, sometimes in small groups . Some of them were still sleeping and suddenly woke up in the grass in front of the building not knowing what had happened and surrounded by other rescued students, others were only half aware of what was going on and others were in full panic mode. There were at least forty to fifty teleportations that night, people materializing on the lake next to the school, the group grew, slowly but surely as each of them, coughing and still unsure of what had happened was taken out of the burning building.

Jean and Scott looked for each other the moment they were safe and after some anxiety filled moments, they finally saw each other.

“You okay?”

“You all right?” They said to each other, almost in unison.

After checking that they were whole and okay, they started looking for the others. Jean had a bad feeling she couldn't shake off, but she couldn't exactly say what was bothering her. Maybe it was just the collective distress that was getting to her, but she felt that something was wrong. The pair found Jubilee some time later, looking at one side and the other, as if looking for something she'd lost. She seemed a bit relieved when she saw Scott and Jean but was still stressed.

“Hey, have you guys seen Kurt? I can't find him.”

“He was bringing people out.” Scott pointed out.

“That stopped like ten minutes ago. And he's not here.”

Jean focused, trying to hear his thoughts.

“I can't hear him, I don't think he's here.”

“Which means he's probably in there, in the fire!” Jubilee said, dreading that her worst fears were coming true. “Maybe he's trapped, maybe he breathed too much smoked and passed out, maybe moving so people drained and he's passed out in there... We can't wait until the firefighters come, he may get hurt, or worse...”

“I'll go.” Ororo said, appearing out of nowhere. “I can create rain around myself to avoid the fire.I'll find him.”

“I'll go with you, it'll be easier to find him if I locate his thoughts and I can move any fallen parts of the building.” Jean added. “But you guys stay and wait for us, it's too dangerous.”

“Good luck.” Scott said.

“And Jean, if you could send a thought or something when you find him to tell us if he's okay...” Jubilee was playing with some loose threads in her pyjama top, nearly breaking it.

“Sure.”

And so they were off, running back to the burning building, unafraid, determined. I f any teachers would have seen them, they'd try to stop them, but Jean made sure they didn't see. The rooms in the building could collapse and trap their friend, even kill him. Even if there was only half a chance of Kurt being in that falming hell, they owed it to him to search every room.

It really was hell inside. It was scorching hot and the smoke and falling ashes and burning wood made it difficult to see. Even with Ororo's rain, it wasn't going to be an easy rescue.

“There's someone on the second floor.” Jean said, and they started the way towards it.

The signal was faint, not all there, indicating that the person was probably unconscious, much like Jubilee had predicted. Jean wasn't one hundred percent sure it was Kurt, because that stressful situation was messing with her mind, but it kinda felt like him.

Through flames and ash, they reached the place where the thoughts originated, hopeful but also afraid of what they would find and quite tired from having to use their abilities so much in such little time.

“In here!”

They looked everywhere in that room until they saw a dark shadow of a body and the familiar shape of a tail.

“Kurt? Kurt!”

Jean knelt next to him while Ororo created a wet breathable atmosphere next to them.

“His breathing and pulse are a bit slow but at least the fire didn't get to him completely, just got his tail and feet.” The redhead said, relieved.

“Let's get out of here.”

And so there was wind that gently lifted and transported the three teenagers from the floor of the burning bedroom and into the filed were the rest of the people were watching their school go down in flames.

“We found him.” Jean thought to their friends, with their location.

Scott and Jubilee were there in no time, running.

“Is he all right?”

“Oh my god! Kurt!”

“He's passed out from the smoke” Jean explained. “He has some burns on his tail and feet, but they don't look too severe. We were really lucky that we found him when we did, the fire could have spread and got him.”

“He looks so young, almost as if he were sleeping.” Jubilee said, melancholic. “Come on, the paramedics are just arriving.”

And so Kurt was taken and the kids could breathe again.

Every time there was a dangerous situation that boy got closer to death saving people and being helpful. They would have to have a serious conversation with Kurt about self preservation and knowing when to stop his heroics, but that could wait. At least, until he was fully recovered.

As of now, they just asked for an extra large bed – so when Kurt woke up he had Jean and Storm on one side and Scott and Jubilee in the other, softly sleeping. He smiled to himself.

He had passed out in hell and awakened in heaven.

 


	15. Ice (Frozen)

When Kurt woke up after losing consciousness in that blast in the warehouse he felt weak, confused and cold, really really cold. It was impossibly cold and he didn't know where he was, which were the limits of that place because it was also really cold and he could hardly see anything, which made teleporting dangerous business.

Teleporting was also difficult because he felt incredibly weak, hardly able to move himself or even keep his eyes open. He felt close to passing out again, but he couldn't, he knew he couldn't, or he would die in that dark frozen cage, he needed to be alert and get out. There were some cans and other food items close to him and suddenly he understood that someone had locked him up in a small freezer. If he didn't die frozen, he'd die of asphyxiation, run out of air.

He needed to get out and get out now. Being in such a small space really made him anxious which made his breathing bad, which would lead to running out of air. He needed to get out now before he was more nervous and more frozen. His teeth were already chattering, his body shaking trying to get itself warm, but nothing, it only kept getting colder and colder.

He tried to teleport even if he didn't know where he was teleporting to, which could lead to accidents. But it was better to materialise in midair or under a bed than die there. Even if he accidentally impaled himself in some place out there... in that freezer, he was already dead. This was really his last chance. So he tried, he tried hard, closed his eyes and focused on getting out of there, on getting out, anywhere out...

But couldn't. He could see his own breaths in front of him and knew that it was useless. The colder he felt the less strength he had to get out of there, and it was only getting colder which meant he was only getting weaker. He tried again while his limbs shook even harder, begging for warmth. It was so cold it hurt and Kurt knew that if he stopped shivering things would only get worse, so he tried again and then again.

Black spots started swimming in front of him, covering most of his vision. He didn't know if it was because of the effort, the cold, or any other unrelated thing but he didn't care. If he was going to die frozen, he would rather get unconscious but with some remainder of hope and not notice anything than suffer until the last moment, knowing he was done for. So he kept trying to teleport, and kept trying, until eventually it was too much and the black spots became everything, overwhelmed.

His head softly hit the back of the freezer, unheard by anyone. There was frost covering his hair, his lips, his hands, whit on blue. He didn't make of a sound, there was only the soft humming of the freezer. Kurt's heart would likely stop, and there was no one there to stop it. At least he wasn't hurting anymore.

 

* * *

 

“Where is he?” Scott said, dramatically taking holding his glasses as if he were going to take them off and fry that man with his eye lasers. He was generally a nice guy, but these guys had nearly killed Peter, which meant that whatever they'd done with Kurt probably hadn't been pleasant. Maybe he was already dead, maybe he was agonising somewhere. He wouldn't allow it.

“Where is he?” He repeated, screaming this time.

“You can't afford to make me angry.” Jean said behind him. “You know this. Now tell us what have you done with our friend before we start to hurt you to find out. And believe me, we will stop at NOTHING until you tell...” Jean suddenly stopped and looked at her friends. “Kurt's locked up in a freezer. Jubilee you take care of this idiot and find us help, Storm, Scott, with me, let's go.”

The three of them ran to where Jean was leading them, feeling every second stretch out, be too long. Kurt was locked up in a freezer, how horrible was that? Maybe he was already frozen and dead, maybe there was nothing they could do because they had been too late. Poor boy, he already been scared of small spaces because of that electrified box he'd been transported in. Who knew what this would do to him.

_(If he survived)_

No, they couldn't think like that. Kurt was a survivor, maybe he had teleported out of here and greeted them with a bit of a chill and one of his large smiles. Yes, let's be hopeful, he was probably ok. He had to be ok, Kurt was too important, too good, for something as horrible as that to happen to him. And yet, it did. The world was a very unfair place sometimes.

They found the freezer and Storm used one of her lightnings to destroy the lock so they could open the thing. Despite what they had hoped, Kurt hadn't been able to teleport out and he was in there, passed out, parts of him covered by frost, unmoving. Seeing him like that they couldn't know if he was alive or dead, it could anything. Maybe he was alive, maybe he wasn't. It was really scary.

Jean and Scott got him out of that place as gently as possible.

“Is he alive?”

Scott opened his friend uniform and puts his head on his chest, trying to listen for a heartbeat or breathing, but nothing.

“I don't hear anything, I- I don't think his heart's beating.”

“Keep listening!” Jean ordered. “Sometimes the cold can slow it down so much that it seems stopped, even if it isn't. We'll count a minute and if there's nothing we start CPR.”

Scott nodded and kept listening, his ears firmly on that cold blue chest, hoping for a sound, however faint it was. For too long he didn't hear anything and his eyes started getting wet, despite him. He wanted to be stronger than this, but.... And then, there it was.

“He's alive!” Everyone breathed, relieved, let out a small smile and then got back to action.

“We need to get him warm, get those frozen clothes off him.” Ororo said, approaching them and starting. The three of them took off all his clothes but his underwear and then Storm and Jean looked for any clothes and blankets to warm him while Scott just aggressively embraced his friend, trying to help with his own body heat.

Jubilee came with help shortly after and Kurt was properly warmed up and out of the woods.

Sometimes he dreamed that he was back there, imprisoned, frozen in that small metal cell. He woke up in the middle of the night, afraid, knowing that there was nothing he could do. But then someone came and calmed him down. It was calming, not just the action, but the thought that those few times he wasn't able to save himself, he would always have someone to rescue him.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Anyways hope you enjoyed, and prepare yourselves for more Kurt angst! ;) Feedback is love and is very much appreciated!


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